| = I am waiting for opinions. | beloved being [21.Jan.05 04:57] |
| please read this poem and...judge it...after you understand it...It is my first try to write a poem...So please be gentle with me though .... | |
| = Text to be revised | Luminita Suse [21.Jan.05 05:00] |
| Please, fix the spelling mistakes and leave spaces after comma, dot, colon, etc Here's your text with the mistakes highlighted: SALVATION,HOPE... My world was sable,sapless and inert My heart was dormant;yet... not dead I saw nor uoght but black and dark, I knew no life,no joy,no white.... I was enchained with chaines of loneliness My heart was carying on excruciatingly war Against the pain and sadness,against darkness and chaines. A war in vain I carried on...BECAUSE I WAS ALONE.. From deep down of my heart i screamed then:"HELP!" With my last power and last hope. And you appeared when I was down, Gave me your hand and then grabbed mine. You gave me life again,you made me brave Reminded me:I don't have always to obey! That rules are also made for to be breaked... I can elude now thanks to your lordly help Of all the dark and black that had me enchained. You enfranchised me and you gave me strenght, You stopped that what was to impend:MY DEATH. And doing all you had to do...you left. My heart was free after so long... One thing you missed and didn't know: Although was free,my soul was mesmerized By your ethereal soul and mind. Still...you felt that there's something wrong, Not knowing what,you turned then back. And for the first time in my life I saw this pair of dark,mysterious eyes. A paradox created then inside my heart... Was enfranchised of dark,and in it found Desire for life,and courage to go on. I tried to penetrate your soul with mind, To see what's in...if there's a place for mine. You didn't stop me,you were also mesmerized By this strange phenomenon we never met before... -Was rather a sensation unexplained- While we were looking in each other's eyes Our souls were speaking tacit words And language very mistified... And when our souls met,we realized The importance of this fact: They did not meet now for the first time; Once they were one...in the foretime. But they've been spread in twoand since then They've crossed the Earth in hope to find The half each one was bounded of.... And their incesstly search now ends. YOU gasped just once-it was enough for both our souls For that now they have become one. And once with the souls,we became strong. The darkness is defeated now: Although the Sun has gone The Moon gives light in time of night. As Moon,we shall be eternal lights And spread light through the dark... So others se:THERE'S NO EFEMERAL LIFE! -THE END- | |