| = windshield? | Carmen Fenesan [12.Apr.05 14:08] |
| sounds like rock lyrics :) i would switch the second line around a bit, "as if time would throw away his skin" (or "shed away").. i think it has a nicer rhythm. also maybe "... invade my dreams"... just a thought. I like the second part quite a lot (i like rock lyrics :) | |
| = thank you | Florin Hulubei [15.Apr.05 20:06] |
| Thank you for the suggestions and the appreciations. I generally do not change anything in my poems! Come again! | |