= again | Corina Gina Papouis [30.Oct.09 00:01] |
you have a good method of killing the poem at the end, did you know that?:) ok.. this is how i saw the end or you may consider it as an alternative ending, as to me these damn dams need ongoing building... i drink the damn damfulls one after another i swallow i drawn Again, I built a dam On my life and already... take care!:) Corina | |
= err | Corina Gina Papouis [30.Oct.09 00:07] |
*drown it is..:) | |
= Indeed they do | Dan Moldoveanu [30.Oct.09 20:49] |
You're right, these dams do need to be built and built again... but one day, one gulp will be so overwhelming, so intoxicating that we won't recover, that we won't build again - lacking the will, the "organic material" for doing so... Be it death, be it insanity, it was towards a sense of fatality, not cyclicity that I was reaching as I said "until I drown". Thank you for your constructive criticism, I admit there is a slight turnoff in the end, but your alternate ending doesn't seem satisfactory either... I'll try to think up a new one =) | |