Comentariile membrilor:

= Great imagery
Dan Moldoveanu
[02.Nov.09 22:09]
Great imagery and metaphoric thinking... I am quite fond of the idea of drunken clouds... However, I feel like the end was unnecessary, and shifted the focus from something very ethereal onto something mundane. As general advice, I would suggest to not put a twist in a poem unless the whole poem is calling for that twist, and that twist is particularly wise/shocking/revealing. But of course, that's just an opinion. Great work!

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= Great imagery	Dan Moldoveanu [02.Nov.09 22:09]
Great imagery and metaphoric thinking... I am quite fond of the idea of drunken clouds... However, I feel like the end was unnecessary, and shifted the focus from something very ethereal onto something mundane. As general advice, I would suggest to not put a twist in a poem unless the whole poem is calling for that twist, and that twist is particularly wise/shocking/revealing. But of course, that's just an opinion. Great work!