| = I humanly can say that... | Corina Gina Papouis [23.Nov.09 14:36] |
| I enjoyed your text!..It has nerve and is edgy...I think you could polish a few bits (example: getting rid of 'your' at 'your inner self', 'feel' at 'feel no remorse' - or use 'the no remorse'). a good reality check poem. Regards, Corina | |
| = Thank you | Andrada Ianosi [23.Nov.09 14:47] |
| for the advice. I've changed "your inner self" as you said. The fact is that it really sounded a bit weird when readed, so I hope this form suits the poem better. As for "feel no remorse", I think I'm gonna keep it like this. It's the way my inner rhythm goes. The repetition of the verb was meant to appear in the same stanza. Best wishes, Andrada | |