| = misery | Corina Gina Papouis [01.Dec.09 12:54] |
| I enjoyed your poem, at times maybe too rich in depicting, i would have accelerated the rhythm, with a few more verbs... but misery is felt throughout.. may i suggest something, since the poem is so visual? ok, in the first stanza try: an anchor dropped on the heart (a weight on the heart)..:) see you around, Corina | |
| = | Constantin Delca [04.Dec.09 10:04] |
| it was my intention in the first place to depict a miserable daily routine in a static and enclosed universe. as for your suggestion, acknowledged:) thank you and sorry for the late answer! | |