| = . | Veronica Valeanu [18.Feb.10 17:51] |
| the idea is quite interesting and welcome but the discourse fails because of 1)the way it is cut, 2) a much too neutral way of exposing the premise - it leads to artificially converted conclusions. the tone half-reserved half-bitter is good. my suggestion would be to emphasize states of mind, tension, effects, rather than actions. | |
| = diagonals | Monica Manolachi [26.Feb.10 17:04] |
| Veronica, I am not sure what you mean by “the way it is cut”. Perhaps some details would clarify it. In my view, it is meant to suggest two things at least: the common verticality of the thread; then, what might seem brokenness is the possible tremor of the axis up/down. Can one fish in diagonal? This is my question, the challenge I pose. Regarding the logic of a poem, is it absolutely necessary to find logic in a poem? Most probably, poetry is about going astray, obliquely fishing :-) | |