= Andreea! | Corina Gina Papouis [14.Aug.10 11:40] |
.. try and be consistent with the rhyme and the rhythm of your poem, otherwise it sounds like a broken drum. also this verse: 'he’s wondered and cry deeply' - doesn't seem right. did you mean he has wondered and cried deeply? or his wonders and cries? ..and last but not least try to avoid repetitions: Mr. snail has appeared 4 times here and not to make a statement. cheers! | |
= To Corina Gina Papouis | Andreea Maresi [21.Aug.10 16:06] |
Thanks for your advices. I will take care more with these aspects, especially with the rhythm of poems. I'm sorry, I wanted to say "he has wondered and cried deeply". I will correct in text. I know about these repetitions. I saw them also, but I didn't know how I could replace them. I will try my best. Thanks | |