Members comments:

 =  Andreea!
Corina Gina Papouis
[14.Aug.10 11:40]
.. try and be consistent with the rhyme and the rhythm of your poem, otherwise it sounds like a broken drum.

also this verse: 'he’s wondered and cry deeply' - doesn't seem right. did you mean he has wondered and cried deeply? or his wonders and cries?

..and last but not least try to avoid repetitions: Mr. snail has appeared 4 times here and not to make a statement.


 =  To Corina Gina Papouis
Andreea Maresi
[21.Aug.10 16:06]
Thanks for your advices. I will take care more with these aspects, especially with the rhythm of poems.
I'm sorry, I wanted to say "he has wondered and cried deeply". I will correct in text.

I know about these repetitions. I saw them also, but I didn't know how I could replace them.
I will try my best. Thanks

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