| = fuse and refuse | Veronica Valeanu [15.Sep.10 10:32] |
| -if it didn't end the mutiny -up to the next tree all the directions merge, but at the same time one could sense them pointed towards, or deriving from. the end cuts everything from directions, leaving only traces, as in the sequence [you feel like a block of salt shrinking/ while licked by animals] a good piece of work! | |
| = Very difficult to understand g | Sydney Krivenko [25.Sep.10 03:38] |
| For fear of being called a preaching teacher, I must point out the missing commas, full stops, etc. Also: An old man lying! ( a hen lays eggs) but the old man is lying on the motorway, as opposed to standing. A poem without rimes nor rythm, a collection of perceptions, of which few seem to be tied to the previous one... Sorry, I think I do not understand this kind of poetry, I must be old-fashioned. All in all, you describe a very gloomy day or days, in a big city where people do not matter much. Did I get it so far? Anyway, congratulations for the "recommended reading" place! Sydney | |
| = i wake up | Givemore Manyengawana [28.Oct.10 08:58] |
| hie E.V This poem is modern and descriptive . a novelity of a kind. Gently petrifying as it whispers from line to line. "wake up...." untill the "steming testicle" and the 'mad scientist" is an urburn contemporary. Quite some sentiments we share. G.M | |
| = Epic! | Ivan Ana Maria [23.Mar.11 19:15] |
| I loved the urban allienating atmosphere of your poem and I could draw visual parallels to your words just up to the middle of your last stanza, where I got a bit lost, I must say. But I blame it on my mechanism of projecting ideas into clear images, it must be malfunctioning again. (smiling) Your poem is infused with an overwhelming realism and with the realization of the way existence is unfolding its monotonous geometry. I enjoyed reading you and the picture of the attempt: "To predict the future by reading car number plates" brought back long forgotten memories. Your poem is epic, descripting, devouring! | |