| = . | Veronica Valeanu [08.Dec.10 12:38] |
| One empty milk glass on the table This is how I imagine your return And I wouldn't be there to watch except in the tree outside the window If happiness could happen without me this is how I see this poem. the minimalism shouldn't damage the stream of thoughts, that's why you could try to condense the lines. the last 2 lines seem unnecessary, the poem doesn't lose anything without them. | |
| = turn on tune in drop out | ion a [09.Dec.10 08:51] |
| one empty glass one tree branch by the window 1. you return 2. i'm not there but 4. missing line 5. fake absence enjoy it while it lasts bastard ####### in other words, kind of interesting, but to grab the audience you need to make it real weird | |