| = welcome! | Corina Gina Papouis [13.Feb.13 12:19] |
| Taquila, welcome to our site! An interesting biography your poem, however, I would like to suggest using: have - 147 years has passed see - the elite eyes see's to be grammatically correct. I shall place it for now in workshop until you make those changes. Kind regards! Corina | |
| = error | Corina Gina Papouis [13.Feb.13 12:20] |
| I apologize for my typo: Taqulia! | |
| = I'll change it ASAP | Taqulia Roberts [14.Feb.13 15:43] |
| Thanks for your feedback!!! | |
| = mixed impressions | Bodea Diana Mihaela [14.Feb.13 22:19] |
| Are you sure this is poetry? About the message I have no clue what it can be said as long as it gives me the impression of random thoughts. It would have been interesting if after - It's not just you but we - the poem would continue with the the first verse and all the others till again this one. I tell this because in this manner you could catch a bigger idea, with many more implications. Second, pessimism is something I personally dislike for I believe it is not necessary to put the fault on an elite as long as people tend to be bad and stupid without any help. As one said in a discussion with the devil that came to eart: you stupid devil you are late, we manage to be evil without your help, now you are useless. | |
| = Yes this is poetry. I am new at this so I appreciate all feedback. Thanks | Taqulia Roberts [23.Feb.13 12:20] |
| This poem is not putting fault on anyone. It's basically motivating myself as well as others to be more than the negative perceptions others may see. Before I started writting I felt very self condfident and unimportant, but I no longer feel that way. | |