| + vintage | ion amariutei [10.Nov.07 08:03] |
| sort of vintage dan but the first verse seems to me a little careless: "tendency" and "megastructures" sound like from a diff movie here. agree that you need an introduction but perhaps you could make it a little longer, even a little more laid out (even related to the title). the rest of the poem is just right, ironic and iconoclast but tempered by a barely visible tragic background | |
| = hello again | marius dan [13.Nov.07 04:20] |
| twinkle twinkle little star... well it's true. on the other hand I don't know what the hell I'm writing about so... Anyways I really do appreciate your feedback. vintage dan :) like the sound of that :) it sounds important. | |
| = A poem that clearly reflects your skills! Keep up the good work. | Ratz Tamas [15.Nov.07 03:40] |
| A good example of well balanced dark sarcasm. With inspiration as godly as this you clearly don't need much technique to write it down. It seems to me that this poem has a wild beauty integrated. Sadly, it was a bit too brief for my taste. A little bit more drama and it would've shocked me really! | |
| = as brief as a soap commercial :) | marius dan [17.Nov.07 16:13] |
| "we are all accidents waiting to happen". | |