Members comments:

 =  diluted...
Romulus Campan Maramuresanu
[03.Jan.08 12:05]
a bit too much enumeration and watered thoughts...

 =  !!!
Marius Surleac
[09.Jun.08 08:21]
There is "new roses and lilies" instead of "lities"; "never to be reborn" instead of "never never" (double negation)

 =  done ! thanks.
mazHur
[09.Jun.08 16:15]
thanks,,,,,done !
best

 =  !!!
Marius Surleac
[09.Jun.08 16:15]
My advice to you is to pay a little bit of attention to the space before and after “.,!?;:” in your texts. You have to let space after them and no space in front of them. Please pay attention.

Also, there is “Camellia” instead of “Camelia”, and use the French word “crème” instead of “creme”

Thank you!

 =  Appreciation
mazHur
[21.Jun.08 23:31]
Thanks have redone the typos, however do not have the French
stressed 'e' to replace
I deeply appreciate your comments

 =  !!!
Marius Surleac
[21.Jun.08 23:33]
there is "sweet" instead of "swee", "light" instead of "ligh", "roll in dust" instead of "dus" and "lost forever" instead of "foreve"

 =  punctuation
mazHur
[22.Jun.08 14:25]
I hope it is okay now--thanks again

 =  After (quite?) a bit of guidance...
John Willy Kopperud
[22.Jun.08 16:53]
...your poem really turned out good, mazHur! The lines contain
a rich imagery that, in my eyes, constitutes a valid example of dark romanticism.
Cheers from Willy




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