| + good job Dan | Marius Surleac [12.Aug.08 16:59] |
| Straight to the point, the social problems, the race for power between the rulers "pigs", the most powerful nations earn a lot if we talk about the economical view of wars; now in war is all about economical issues built on the piles of corpses that lay under their unconcern. A strong text, very descriptive with sharp intentions and meanings, smart. The main idea is to be found in the title, which is the warning beyond the inner content. About the title: the song containing the title is an excellent choice because handles similar problems, and there's a band I like very much. P.S. In the last line is really “jack” or “Johnny” from “Johnny got his gun”? Well done! Cheers, Marius | |
| = marius | dan marius [12.Aug.08 17:08] |
| first of all :) glad you liked it. second, yes Thom Yorke is the most beautiful and creative writer of contemporary rock & roll. the poem is not the greatest, but it was written with sheer rage.. and that's why I chose to post it. I will never understand war. It broke my heart seeing the horrific scenes from Georgia. What puzzles me the most... is this : how can everything remain the same?.. I mean how can we go on with our daily business.. go to work, chat with friends, go on vacations while this happens? why doesn't time just stop and the world end? this is murder on national television. why do we hate small time crooks when we see them? why do we hate common murderers... but excuse soldiers? my jack is jack from Fincher's "Fight Club". | |
| = my opinion about is that... | Marius Surleac [12.Aug.08 17:29] |
| I think the answer is that we are not united. So, you, by yourself can not make something that will change this real fact. There are rulers that rule from above, this is the society. Now, today's wars have economical interests and everyone from the top wants to owe the fist of power. Because we're not united! | |
| = weird fishes | dan marius [12.Aug.08 17:34] |
| yes well I call them the "vicious" chain of rats & the pyramid of pigs... under these... the common slave. the hippies tried it. and their revolution ended up in smoke. (well in a variety of smokes). the communists tried it and failed miserably. men desire power more than anything else. that's why I dream of leaving. to the mountains... or the bottom of the ocean :) | |
| = we need you to stay | Mike Aspros [13.Aug.08 08:23] |
| your words are inspiring. I agree with Marius. For me you poem is unique by the emotions behind it and reads like a tradition fable or an oral traditional story from an indigenous culture with our cultural context. Great job! best, | |
| = thanks | dan marius [13.Aug.08 17:39] |
| a radiohead song and the 6 o'clock news triggered the poem. thank you mike | |
| = re: project Mayhem | Corina Gina Papouis [20.Aug.08 08:45] |
| Marius, I so sense your rage in this poem and I can almost feel your pulse racing, I can see your pupils dilated. It’s a good poem with a powerful message…the ending is brilliant…a taste of “project Mayhem”… Keep it up! Cheers, Corina | |
| = not really | dan marius [01.Sep.08 17:52] |
| no accelerated pulse, no dilated pupils. just fear & frustration, the feeling of being small, unimportant, unable to change anything. ironic, sarcastic, maybe... as if humor were the only possible and plausible defense. | |
| = Wow! | Edgar A. Baguio [05.Oct.08 16:52] |
| Wow! No wonder..."same birds, same feathers, same poetry styles-'broken prose'" Like a news layout. Hahahahahaha!!! I never thought how poetry was "adulterated". Good luck kids! Well, no wonder most of my poet friends stopped me last week but I still post my work, just to create a simple balance. Shakespeare, where art thou? | |
| = ...no dark sarcasm in the classroom... | dan marius [06.Oct.08 12:24] |
| dead, Sir. Shakespeare is dead, writing broken prose in hell. | |