Members comments:

= Aly
Corina Gina Papouis
[07.Sep.08 01:21]
First time here!:) Hope you will enjoy the ride.
Let's start with the grammar...
The word 'This' (which is used several times in your text) needs to become 'these', 'stopp' is 'stop'.
'to far' must be 'too far'
'will broke' should be 'will break'
Hope I did not miss any..
After you are done with the grammar try to focus on your message. Get rid of some repetitions and ...best of luck!
Regards,
Corina

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= Aly	Corina Gina Papouis [07.Sep.08 01:21]
First time here!:) Hope you will enjoy the ride. Let's start with the grammar... The word 'This' (which is used several times in your text) needs to become 'these', 'stopp' is 'stop'. 'to far' must be 'too far' 'will broke' should be 'will break' Hope I did not miss any.. After you are done with the grammar try to focus on your message. Get rid of some repetitions and ...best of luck! Regards, Corina