| = Taking me back... | John Willy Kopperud [11.Oct.08 19:32] |
| ...to those days of that 19.th century modern breakthrough in France with Baudelaire's Fleurs De Lal looming in the background. Dark beauty in this brutal tale, Vicleanu! Cheers from Willy | |
| = What else but the beautiful.... | Vicleanu Mihaita [11.Oct.08 19:57] |
| Symbolism...ah, Les Fleurs du Mal....the best volume of Baudelaire...I'm glad you found Dark Beauty in my poem....Thank you for reading and I hope Baudelaire's poetry will never be forgotten. My kind regards, Mihai | |
| = Parasitism or symbiosis? | Simona Sumanaru [11.Oct.08 22:54] |
| I'd say 'I let you leech onto me/in neutral nights suspended in the sky,/like black mirrors reflecting [...]'. I'd lose the "and" and I'd say 'I would open my chest with my bare hands/ to throw you out/and be glad about my death's identity' Without sounding patronizing, I gotta say I think you've got great potential. Try to keep a simple syntax and don't make excessive use of commas. Your ideas are beautiful enough and your words powerful enough to stand on their own. | |
| = Simona...again ..speechless... | Vicleanu Mihaita [12.Oct.08 12:26] |
| Again I feel flattered....I don't know what to say ...but.....Thank you with all my heart....and I know I have the tendency to complicate my poems...This is I....I'm happy you like my ideas...I hope they will be kept alive somehow... My warm regards, Mihai | |
| = Sure they are | Simona Sumanaru [12.Oct.08 15:19] |
| kept alive through your poems. I'd say complicate the ideas, but not the form. Allow the message to get through smoothly. I have no merit in this. I only gave credit where credit was due. Plus you know it's easier to be a critic than a poet. ;-) | |
| = niceeee! | Marius Surleac [13.Oct.08 13:00] |
| Mihai, glad to read this poem! Wonderful descriptions, elegant symbols, tough feelings put on a string. I like also the pointing out of getting ill with symbols: "I PARASITED". In fact the entire poem is a distortion created by the effect of opium combined with the admiration for Baudelaire's work. Well done Mihai! Cheers, Marius | |
| = . | Vicleanu Mihaita [13.Oct.08 14:35] |
| Thanks Marius, i appreciate your comment, you're right in the last sentence, it is a distortion...glad you liked it. My kind regards, Mihai | |