I was confused and upset
I wanted to know
what was wrong with me?
I went to see my doctor
“What can I do for you?
your appointment is only
for 20 minutes”
he said
hey! doctor
I’m tired of hearing
how short your minutes are
I am tired of being tired
I am tired of being nice
to humanity
every morning when hanging my coat
I am tired of leaving my
agony and tiredness
in its pockets
I’m tired of the ones
who don’t deserve
a sweet smile
oh! If you knew
how much I want to spit on their
faces and kick them
I’m tired of hearing your voice
and waiting
you haven’t been loyal
to your appointment
I’m tired of hearing
you are more tired than I
damn it! Doctor
I am tired of hoping
and not to be able to
have my own space...
I’m tired of cleaning everyone’s mess
and listening to their complaints and lies
from their excuses and being concerned
keep your hands and lips
to yourself
your mouth only be moving
the only thing I will be hearing
is going to be blah, blah, blah!
I am not going to listen
I am tired of struggling
I had a perfect life
you have screwed up my life
you were my life
I did like it and felt safe
nowadays my bed is empty
one empty purple room
no sign of desire
the only thing I want is
nothing...
an empty clean bed
and my 4 pillows
where nobody belongs to nobody
and where chatter stops
I’m also tired of wanting
my life back
I want my life back!


Gunsel Djemal 1999 - London