| + movement! | Marius Surleac [24.Oct.08 10:26] |
| I like the imagery created here, the atmosphere of autumn in the park, the dog limping really close to a group of sparrows and the movement suggested by scattering (which I think you have chosen to be smart). Very visual! Well done! Best wishes, Marius | |
| = I perceive this... | John Willy Kopperud [24.Oct.08 11:14] |
| ..rather as a short poem than a haiku. It's a most striking short poem, though, with the limping dog and the scattering sparrows. Vivid images! Cheers from Willy | |
| = Being sensitive to images is my job. | sergiu silvestru [24.Oct.08 22:27] |
| Thank you all for sharing, and I'm very glad to receive my first star. As for this poem not being a haiku, I wonder why. It has the essence. It may not have the right number of syllables, but as haiku spread to other languages, rules were relaxed. But as I'm a professional painter and graphic designer, and not a poet by trade, I am open to hear why it is not (exactly) a haiku. | |
| = I accept this now as a Haiku... | John Willy Kopperud [25.Oct.08 16:41] |
| ...seeing that I have been too preoccupied with the 5-7-5 syllables formula. Most important though; the poem is well written! Cheers from Willy | |