| = . | corina dragomir [15.Apr.05 20:08] |
| in the first stanza: *how long* implies an axis of time covering a part of the past (action/state) that goes on in the present with its subsequent effects. the sooner the rephrasal of the whole stanza gets the internal logic fixed, the better ... in the 5th st. a few mistakes prevail, thus damaging the ideas upon which you insisted to conclude the turmoil of the male, rarely understood by his female partner. I wish I am blind behind these reading glasses I wish I can face her eyes I wish I can melt into this breathing air I wish I don’t exist till she leaves use the verb wish to refer to how you would like things to be in the present or to talk about how you would like things to be in the future. if you want to talk about your present situation, you can use the structure wish + past simple or continuous. e.g. I haven't got any money. I wish I had some money. or I don't earn much money. I wish I earned a lot of money. the same form can be used to talk about someone else's situation. however, there is another structure that you use to talk about actions that take place in the present, but you want them to change in the future. this structure is used to talk about another person, and generally about things you don't like. the structure is wish + would/could + infinitive. when you think about a situation in the past, naturally you can't do anything to change it. therefore this is a way of expressing regret. the structure you use is wish + past perfect. e.g. You were too slow getting ready to go out. I wish you hadn't been so slow getting ready. p.s. I liked the 2nd&3rd. | |
| = back | corina dragomir [16.Apr.05 13:57] |
| you implied the *length* of *lies*. I understood that only after a second reading:). correct the end of the poem so that it won't lose touch on the track. maitreyi marks a consensus for those particular moments when she subtly unveils herself as a counterpoint for a real love experience. only as he decides to accept and endure whatever disasters befall him does he reach a kind of graceful inner strength. | |
| = Going back to Maitreyi | raj thampi [16.Apr.05 15:32] |
| " Dana read me the reply written by Maitrei Devi. I am not sure, and I am afraid. I felt myself standing in front of a huge cupboard, searching for nothing, I heard the sound of somebody opening and closing the doors of my study room. It could not be a thief, because everybody knows I am a poor man. No thief will waste his time, by trying to steal me. It could not be another visitor or a student who needs a piece of paper with my signature which is already looking little shaky. I do not want to turn my face and see who it is. I am trying to fix my gaze on the huge prints on the covers of books in front of me. Those footsteps are sounding familiar, oh how it could be? I am far away from truth and her. I am trying my mind not to run back, not back to years and years, but I need to help myself from shivering…minimum I have to keep this pipe I m trying to smoke, before it will fall from my hand. Oh I know who it is, why she is here now, and what she needs? I can’t even walk properly, can’t her feel how bad I am shivering, and why she can’t understand if I will turn my face and look at her, I will die. She still uses those light sandal perfumes? Oh what if she will call my name and ask me to turn face at her? These many wrinkles could make her frown, is she expecting the same young man in me? While Dana cried, after reading those last words from the book, ever since those moments, I tried to feel what Eliade might have felt " Its from my book "dana". Corina for me, time is when I feel, time is now this moment while my fingers are running over the plastic keys of this keyboard, time is when I breath & exist. With my limited knowledge of proper usages of English words, I am afraid to say, I will not able to change the poem without loosing what I felt (What I felt :) I am glad & will look forward for your comments, Friend. regards | |