| = . | corina dragomir [07.Jun.05 16:32] |
| v3 - * listening how memories fall down* v6 - * wandering spirit...which would never find...* (relative pronoun for objects, natural phenomena*; the adverb should precede the present infinitive verb. | |
| = . | corina dragomir [07.Jun.05 16:38] |
| if you thought of using *never* with its emphatic value, then it's ok. | |
| = Winter Butterflies | raj thampi [07.Jun.05 17:47] |
| Winter Butterflies has an influence somewhere in this poem. Though I cannot definitely point it out right now, cannot help feeling the links between this poem and "Winter butterflies" Illustrative & self narrating without complex expressions or words. Good work dora. Enjoyed it. Regards | |
| = Dara | raj thampi [07.Jun.05 18:08] |
| Sorry for spelling your name wrong :O Dara | |
| = Thanks | Dara Blu [08.Jun.05 09:13] |
| to Corina - I deliberately used "who" instead of "which", because I considered "spirit" as a being, no object; through "never" I wanted to emphasise the feeling of the endless seeking for unknown something. to Raj - thanks for your comment; perhaps it is "Winter Butterflies" influence, indeed the both poems were inspired by the same mood. And it is no problem with my name:) | |
| = . | corina dragomir [08.Jun.05 10:01] |
| I may have kissed the stallion of the Cimarron, breakfasted with the kings and spilt the finest wine while some mischievous spirit was playing darts with Jack in Irons.:) (valid exp.) what about *an* before *wandering*? P.S. i guess the title has been a good choice. | |
| = about "an" | Dara Blu [08.Jun.05 16:02] |
| just typo. Thanks once again :) | |