Members comments:

 =  Perfect wound
Cristina-Monica Moldoveanu
[05.Mar.11 09:29]
Wonderful expression of the emotion floating on water, sliced by the moonlight. It is as if the human heart is partly connected with the moon, partly wounded by it and that is why it cannot bleed. Fluency and complex images in simple words. An inward cruise.

 =  almost perfect
ion a
[05.Mar.11 06:35]
i'm too lazy to check if tanka has some fixed form requirements, even if it has i think the last verse would sound more natural like:

moon slivers
on rippling water
I float heartsick
but no bruise, no bleeding
a perfect wound

+ exquisite
Corina Gina Papouis
[05.Mar.11 13:10]
there's nothing like a perfect wound floating on rippling waters, and furthermore, from a literary point of view, there's nothing like finding the right words to describe it..and that's something!:)

 =  Thank you
Luminita Suse
[09.Mar.11 15:14]
Thank you for your comments.

Modern English tanka does not follow the 5-7-5-7-7 formula because Japanese syllables are shorter than English language syllables, resulting in shorter poems even though the syllable count is the same. To approximate the Japanese model, the English tanka uses approximately 10-15 words / 20-22 syllables, and a short-long-short-long-long, or long-long-short-long-short structure or even just a free form structure using five lines.

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