Comentariile membrilor:

= let the music play
Veronica Valeanu
[24.Jun.11 10:05]
rapid visual synapses which are an ubiquitous peak, this lends the reading a lasting pleasure

some amendments:
writing the word [love] like that
l
o
v
e
makes the idea artificial. you should rewrite that line in order to render the meaning in the shape of exploding space, not the image

and the ending
[peut-etre
passengers on a late train
from here
to ]
-could definitely be improved. the French word is not a necessary focus, on the contrary.

keep writing, strengthening your resources.

= .
Adrian Gologan
[24.Jun.11 12:02]
Thanks,Veronica. I´ll work on your suggestions.

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Înapoi !

= let the music play	Veronica Valeanu [24.Jun.11 10:05]
rapid visual synapses which are an ubiquitous peak, this lends the reading a lasting pleasure some amendments: writing the word [love] like that l o v e makes the idea artificial. you should rewrite that line in order to render the meaning in the shape of exploding space, not the image and the ending [peut-etre passengers on a late train from here to ] -could definitely be improved. the French word is not a necessary focus, on the contrary. keep writing, strengthening your resources.

= .	Adrian Gologan [24.Jun.11 12:02]
Thanks,Veronica. I´ll work on your suggestions.