| = less is more | Veronica Vãleanu [18.Sep.12 19:51] |
| my impression is that the text is still far from its best possible alternative. I think the title steals much more from what the body of text could bring out. since you embrace the idea of a more concise shape of text, you could also think about taking it to the next level, by lending more force to the message. by enumerating 3 or 4 types of gems, you risk making the text stagnate. think about a woman that exaggerates with accessories I'm sure that you will succeed to go beyond that point of {I'm still poor], because it sounds like a reproach and a refusal to let things grow further. | |