Comentariile membrilor:

= my opinion
Marius Surleac
[25.Sep.08 22:23]
The text is faded, it rejects the reader. I think if you'll work a bit to its shape, to its idea, to the syntax, maybe will get out of Workshop. You wanted to keep a base and bring some rhyming but the power of a poem doesn't stand just in these two – you need imagery as well.

Best wishes,
Marius

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= my opinion	Marius Surleac [25.Sep.08 22:23]
The text is faded, it rejects the reader. I think if you'll work a bit to its shape, to its idea, to the syntax, maybe will get out of Workshop. You wanted to keep a base and bring some rhyming but the power of a poem doesn't stand just in these two – you need imagery as well. Best wishes, Marius