| = cut it to the bones | ruxandra olteanu [15.Feb.09 11:53] |
| I liked the way you play with refused-elected reflection, the "I" journeys … but I felt more "inside" and captured by the ‘cosmic’ (I don’t like the word, but it somehow fits here) resonance, dance or however you may take it. The sea with its “salty footprints”, “… the mountain/ who’s never looking down on you” …nice voices you gave to these images! Try to explore and deepen these feelings-structures and their voices by making the journey shorter, too much words, too long the trip, cut it, don’t tell everything, every step, get to the essence as I felt you try to do by the rhythm of this poem. Cheers! | |
| = ruxandra | Corina Gina Papouis [18.Feb.09 21:59] |
| just saw your message, sorry for a late reply!:) yes i suppose the text it is a little bit long for its meaning, however, i had fun involving the whole Earth planet in a few lines...fell in love with each and one of them! ...+ I am a chatter!:)) ...i will be shorter next time!:) will try, anyway! cheers, Corina | |