What does it mean when you smile every time you speak his name? Every time you remember his name a sweet smile blossoms shy in a corner of your lips and all sorts of emotions run through your veins making you feel all warm inside, you close your eyes and begin to dream for a short while remembering him smiling back.
It happened a few times already, faces that shall never be forgotten, memories that almost cry at the first touch of morning, and in every night you go to sleep, you hold yourself close almost expecting for that man to get you in his arms.
Men and my memories converse in a teary dance, forsaking yourself as you were before them, they all changed your life as it were and added new colors to your wonderful painting, the painting of your life.
I am a Dorian Grey; every tear blurs my painting while I keep my smiles on top of my lips, pretending I am this unbroken woman who does trust what others can give. In the end they give nothing, they only take, they take your time, your kisses, your nights, days, memories and dreams, forever haunting your soul and tainting your beautiful painting.
In all this time, I keep my painting hidden away, buried deep into my soul for whoever would see it would cry his soul out, I do pity the man that shall have to face this painting in a moment of love.
But then again, what does it mean when you smile every time you speak his name? Why am I so addicted to that feeling, why does my soul smile at him when he is as far as anyone could be, far from me, my soul and all my smiles. And how many times will he hurt me, how many times should I cry because of him and finally not smile when speaking his name.
Why can a soul be so adamant and ignorant in front of pain, it’s not like smiling more will get him closer…
I am a Dorian Grey and my lips smile addicted to his being while my painting is getting more and more tainted, blurry and full of ugliness, pain and scars, enough to fill the entire world. Why do my eyes and soul cry and my lips keep smiling dumb at his memory?

Ioana.